[jacob]blackisthenewpink

Slightly confusing.... I get the suicidal part, but the 'love at first sight' part is...rough. Sorry, but everyone else seems to have gotten all the good critiquing. :wink: Kudos, I ...

I, no offense, disagree with timjim. I love the line "tears start to fall from you/like me from the sky". Even though it is a simile, which I find the ...

Whoa, baby that's deep. But deep is good. And I totally understood your metaphor. I wrote a report on succumbing to the demands of authority last year, and this has ...

It's good, except for the practicality of the whole theme. If she never went to her first day in Forks High, how could she have known all of the people ...

Hi! Um, I know I don't know you personally, and I haven't read anything else by you, but WOW. That poem was beautiful! *hyperventilates* Poetry/Songwriting is one of the main ...

Ooh, creepy!!!! Swottielottie is basically right. The tense thing, the spelling of eleven was wrong. You have to put two spaces after every period and one space after every comma. ...

Whoa. That was beyond cool. Ha. I don't think I found a single mistake in there. I can almost smell the perfection! The plot was really cute--so original! And the ...

The main problem with this is the rhythm. You've got the rhyme, but the syllable count is quite off. My mind says I like him, but my heart says no ...